Hi BFF’s!
Talking about finances to your partner can be challenging. Trust me, I know!
Heck, it may seem like a war zone, a hostile environment, everyone take cover; especially if you have different spending and saving habits.
My husband and I are both spenders and savers. The problem was we didn’t do it at the same time (smh). Planning our wedding helped us get on the same page. We created a wedding budget in which we both agreed we were not going to go over. Neither of us wanted to get married on credit. We did not want to spend a year to three years of our marriage paying for our wedding. This meant we needed to create a wedding budgeting and stick to it. Matter fact, we came in under budget.
Multiple studies have shown that finances are the top reason for divorce or at least part of the top three. I read an article on insider.com, and from their poll, the number one reason was lack of commitment, finances were number five.
So I sat back and let that process for a minute. I looked up the definition of commitment and varies sources said a commitment is an agreement or a state of being dedicated to something in the future such as a cause or activity.
Now, do you see why marriages fail?
It’s not the finances. It’s one or both spouses not being committed to the end result, whatever it may be. For this blog – it’s about finances. So whether it’s being committed to paying off debt, saving to buy a home, or planning for a vacation (you fill in your blank).
Imagine you’re the saver and your partner is the spender, year after year you’re saving for a vacation, a new car, or paying off student debt because you’re on the road to being debt-free and financially unbothered. Yet, you never get to take the vacation, kiss that new car goodbye, and the credit collectors continue to call because you’re behind on your bills.
Jesus take the wheel, the car, the tires, take it all!
Now sometimes you both may be savers yet; your expenses are higher than your income. Sit down and create a budget. See where you can cut back. If you’re already running a lean budget, it may be time to look for a new job or a side hustle.
No matter where you’re at with your finances, here are a few steps that can turn your war zone into a noncombat zone and make talking about finances peaceful!
- First things first, have an honest moment with yourself! Like, be really real with YOU.
- Are you a saver – money hoarder, or a spender – shopping Ms. Daisy.
- Do you like paying bills or nah?
- Is your partner better at budgeting and saving, and you’re making things complicated? Be brutally honest with you – face your truth.
- Have an honest moment with your partner. Sit down and discuss where you guys stand financially.
- What are your financial values and priorities when it comes to money?
- What are your joint and individual goals? Example – I want a new desktop computer, and my husband wants more stocks. We’re both going to get what we want; it’s a matter of prioritizing and saving. Not to mention, we will get there faster working together.
- What’s the plan for handling emergencies or loss?
- Create a list that constitutes an emergency. If it’s not on that list, you cannot tap into your emergency fund.
- What’s the plan for building wealth?
- Are you going to invest in stocks, real estate, trading, entrepreneurship, etc..
- Map out your short term and long term SMART goals. A SMART goal is a goal that is
- Specific – We will pay off our credit card debt
- Measurable – We will pay our debt down to $0 from $5,000
- Attainable – Heck yea! You can do it, put your mind into (say it to the beat of Ice Cubes – You can do it a song)
- Realistic – Are you able to make this happen with your current income? Are you both onboard the financially unbothered train?
- Time-bound – Give yourself a due date. 6-months, 1-year, 3-years, what realistic time will it take
Welp friends, that’s all I have today. Don’t forget to follow me:
